Posts (page 2)

I am trying so, so hard not to cry right now.

I'm just ready for the war to be over. I'm ready for peace. But when it rains it pours, and man, we're caught in a freakin' hurricane.

Stephen's car is totalled. I'm clueless and feeling ignorant, because I know absolutely nothing about how insurance works when you get hit, and it's the other driver's fault, but your car is totalled, and you still owe a ton of money on it. So, we keep paying for the car, even though it's been destroyed? How does that make sense? Maybe that's not how it works. I don't know. All I know is that this day can go straight to hell.

I can't even afford a proper lunch (thank you, Ramen Instant Lunch), so how the hell are we supposed to get another car? It's all so confusing... like, everything was fine. Then, because this woman was in a hurry and couldn't just slow down, our lives get completely thrown off-kilter. The day of the accident was Stephens 2nd day at his new job. He starts school on August 24th, assuming we can get him there somehow. Why now?

I don't even really know what to say, other than I'm so glad it's Friday, and I have two days to shut down completely.

Obviously we still have a LOT to do to the place. We need to paint, hang up some art, make it ours... and we really, really need more furniture!! Especially a computer desk (right now Stephen has a ghetto station set up using two computers as the stand for his monitor. har har) and bedroom furniture like night stands and a chest of drawers. We found one we love at Ikea... maybe someday. Once we pay off everything else we need to pay off (so, like, never.).

I really love the view. I find it relaxing, when I get home from work, to just hang out on the front balcony for a while. There's another one off of the study, which is smaller and very shady. I like it, too. I love having a kitchen that two people can be in at the same time. hahaha.

Yesterday was full of drama. Stephen went out to get us dinner last night, because my back was killing me and I didn't feel like cooking. About 45 minutes later, I'm wondering where he is, and I keep ignorning this unknown number that's calling my phone. Finally they left a message. It's Stephen. "Baby, I got in a wreck, and I need you to come up here and bring my wallet". So I went. His car was gnarly. He got rear-ended by a woman who was going about 40 mph. And he drives a Kia. So, yeah. You can imagine. If anyone had been in the back seat, they would've been injured. Thank GOD he wasn't seriously hurt. He's pretty sore this morning, so he's at the doctor now. I hope everything's ok. The whole process is so mentally and emotionally draining! I mean, neither one of us had been in an accident as an adult, so we didn't really know what to do. It took a couple of hours, waiting on the police to get there, then waiting for the wrecker. (Stephen's tow truck broke down on the way to pick up his car. Seems about right.) We finally got it towed and headed home. Stephen called the woman's insurance co. to ask about a rental car (he just started his new job day before yesterday!!) and she hadn't even reported the accident yet. Lame. So we're trying to get that taken care of today so he can work tomorrow.

Man. When it rains, it really pours.

Online-diet-tips

Things have gotta change.

The prognosis I was given (by the doc) isn't exactly great, but I've gotta make the best of it. Here's the deal, plain and simple: I have lost 80% of my L5 s-1 disc, and 65% of my L5. I have degenerative disc disease, so it's more likely than not that they will continue to deteriorate. I have arthritis in my facet joints (there are 2 joints on each vertebra) and the inflamation from that is causing the nerve pain that shoots down my leg. There are a few problems, and a few solutions. Long story short, I'm going to have to have the surgery. I'm going to have to give up and let them slice-n-dice my spine into shape. Makes sense... if they take out the discs and fuse the spine, most of my problem goes away with the discs. Theoretically. The doctor did mention that if I were to lose a significant amount of weight, that I could potentially put off the surgery for up to 5 or 6 years. Problem with that is, I've tried losing weight. I SUCK at it. I'm really just not very good at it. I lose a few pounds, get motivated, then I slip up and there goes that idea. Well, if I can do something to put off having major surgery, you can bet your ass I'm gonna at least try. So. I'm considering Nutrisystem. Has anyone tried it? If so, would you recommend it? I'm also considering Weight Watchers, but I'm not sure about that one. I WAS considering Jenny Craig till I went online and found that you have to sign a freakin' contract, and you have to pay for a year up front. No way. Thanks anyway.

So, it's looking like I'll probably sign up for Nutrisystem for a bit, to try it out. Maybe a month or two. I have a hard time working out, since my back always hurts so badly, but I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and get on the treadmill.

I have an appointment with a pain management doctor coming up, so hopefully they can help me. I hope.

*sheesh*

I feel like I haven't had a minute to stop and breathe in forever. We've been moving, I've been sick, we're completely broke, and things are pretty good. We love the new place, we're making it our home, little by little. Yesterday I was SO sick, and miserable, and home from work. Last night I got sick of laying on the couch and made some cupcakes, see:

Chocolate glazed doughnut muffins

These were delicious (and really, really easy). I stole the recipe from Elle's Kitchen, and I was delighted with how they turned out. My chocolate "glaze" never really set up, so it was more like frosting, but that was fine. I finished these and it was right back to the couch, since being up and around made me feel shakey and weird.

Stephen made us some hamburger helper for dinner. He's so sweet. We watched Weeds and went to bed. So exciting, huh?

haha.

Sunday was an awesome day. We had a great morning at Soma, then went to lunch at The County Line, which is where we got married. It's pretty cool that I see that place every day now (it's on my way to work) and I get to be reminded of the happiest day of my life on a daily basis! Yay! Anyway, our lunch was awesome. I had BBQ chicken and lean brisket, Stephen had sausage. Of course he did. Stephen loves sausage. It's his favorite food group. haha

Countyline1

After we ate, we headed out back to walk by the water and feed the turtles. I know you can't tell from this picture (stupid phone), but there are HUNDREDS of them. My favorite are the little baby turtles that swim on their mommy's backs.

Turtles

We walked up to the gazebo where we said our vows, and just hung out there for a while, sharing some special moments. Awww, I'm getting all sappy.

Countylinegazebo

All said, it turned out to be an awesome afternoon.

I hope everyone is well!

I finally heard back from the doctor yesterday, after nearly 3 weeks of waiting. We talked for a while, and the news wasn't the absolute worst it could've been, but it wasn't good, either.

I'll go into greater detail later, when I feel like it. Right now isn't the right time. Long story short, pretty much all of his recommendations were invasive. There wasn't one single treatment he mentioned (and he mentioned quite a few) that didn't at LEAST involve having 6-inch-long needles stuck into my back. And, of course, he brought up more surgery. That was the main thing I was hoping I wouldn't hear, so it was a bit discouraging.

*sigh*

But I'm proud of myself. I handled it well. I didn't freak out or cry... I just prayed. Ok, I cried a little when I got home, but really not much at all.

So here we go again.

I'm just special, I guess.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin' catholic!!!!

Marriage

My heart is heavy today with sadness over the state of marriages across our country. The enemy is busy at work here, and today I've seen a clear picture of what that actually looks like. So many people in this day and age simply believe that God has given up on them, sadly. 

On my way to work this morning, I heard a radio commercial that affected me in a profound way. The minute-long spot was advertising a popular new dating site...for married people. I refuse to link to the website or even mention it's name, as the last thing I want to do is draw any attention or views to it. Any publicity is good publicity, and I just won't be a part of it.

The motto of this company is "Your affair is guaranteed" and according to the commercial, they've already racked up over 3 MILLION registered users. The site is specifically geared towards married people, or those in long-term relationships. "Tired of dealing with the daily struggles of married life? Not getting the attention you need from your wife?" I mean, there's no gray area here. I didn't misunderstand. It's so wrong that it's almost unbelievable, but I assure you, I didn't make it up. The site promises to link you, based on compatibility and physical preferences, with another otherwise attached individual for "discreet, private encounters". I was so disturbed and upset by what I heard, I very nearly had to pull my car over. HOW can this kind of garbage be allowed to advertise on a normal, non-satellite radio station, RIGHT SMACK in the middle of morning rush-hour, when it's very likely other people (probably with children in the car) heard it (and I'm sure were upset by it) as well?  Look, I'm a pretty easy-going person by nature. It takes a lot to get me this up-in-arms over something. So if it's got ME this upset, I can only imagine there are others who are fuming as well.

It's so troubling to imagine how these people ended up at the site in the first place. I imagine a good majority of them are people with normal marriages, who get in a fight one day, then go out for a drive, and hear the commercial. They visit the site "just to have a look", then find themselves going back again, and again, until before you know it, they're a registered user and waiting to be "matched". So, so sad. Dark. Heavy.

I'm praying today for the protection of marriages, and giving thanks for my own. I hope you'll join me in praying for the blessed, holy union that is marriage, and for the people who have been lured in by the enemy. May their eyes be opened before it's too late, and may they come to realize that living OUR way brings trouble and devistation, but living HIS way brings peace and fulfillment.

"Matthew 19:6  So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. "